“IT” Doesn’t Just Happen in Your Relationship

Relationships are such an important part of our lives. Yet, we often don’t take the time to do what we need to nurture and develop them. It is important to first take time to understand what is important to you. Stop and take inventory of your past relationships. What did you like? What didn’t you like? What would you want your significant other to do differently?  What do YOU need to do differently? Yes, I said YOU.

When you think you have an understanding, open your mouth and express your feelings and desires. Your understanding can and will change as you and your partner grow. Having an open and honest conversation will help ensure you have an understanding on what is expected from both parties.

This isn’t always an easy conversation to have but is probably one of the main reasons relationships fail. If you have needs and wants, you must be able to share them with the one that matters the most to you even if there will be hurt feelings. Not knowing and not getting the opportunity to have a choice to change exposes opportunities that if not corrected could lead to damaged relationships.

Years ago, my husband and I went to marriage counseling. The major topic – the “R” word aka Romance. Being the avid Harlequin romance reader, I wanted more. I recall explaining to our counselor how I wanted more romance and I wanted my husband to just do “it.” Well “it” rarely happened. While I was reading romance novels, he was watching football and apparently didn’t get it. But I had an ah ha moment when she simply told me to tell him what I wanted. He was willing, but just didn’t know what I wanted so what harm would it be if I explained my hearts desires.

Instead of suffering in silence or seeking romance elsewhere, we began to talk more and that void lessened. If you want “IT”, ask for “IT”, go for “IT” and make “IT” happen.

IT really doesn’t just happen.

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